This is me. Madmomma, aka Mom (x4), Gamma (x4), Daughter, Employee, Girlfriend, Sister, and finally - Shar. I took this picture last night. I weigh 248lbs. At my heaviest I weighed 298 pounds, 5 yrs ago when my youngest grandson was born. I managed to lose 85lbs. I was rocking a 18-20 size clothing. I felt good, I looked good, Life was good. Then my health condition decided to act up pretty badly (I have Ulcerative Colitis) and I ended up in the hospital twice in 1 month and out of work for a month and a half. During that time at home I was bored. I ate. A lot. Way too much. Exercise was hard if not impossible on some days. I had problems with my knees, they ached all the time. I couldn't bend down, I couldn't get down on the floor to play with my grand kids, to pick something up, etc.

It took my Dr's 14 months to diagnose Inflammatory Arthritis - directly related to the Ulcerative Colitis. I went to the "big" medical hospital almost 2 hours north of us to see a specialist about a month ago. I was there for over 3 hours talking with him. I really like him. I have been asking for "the surgery" that cures UC for years now. My regular Dr kept putting me off. This new Dr is more than willing to explore that as an option. I found out last week the last colonoscopy I had done in May of this year revealed that I had precancerous polyps in my colon. When my new Dr told me that, I told him I wanted the surgery. No questions asked, I want it. Just do it. Sometime after the first of the year in 2013 they will be removing my colon. It will mean a temporary ileostomy bag until my new J pouch heals (so I can go to the bathroom normally again). I won't be leaving my house much when I have the bag (too afraid of it breaking or something) but that is something I am willing to put up with.

Before I have the surgery I want to lose weight. I want to get my BMI down to 30. Right now it is at 42.6. I have 73 lbs to lose before the surgery. I figure about 3lbs per week. Within the recommended guidelines. I realize some weeks will be more, some less, some weeks there won't be any weight loss at all. I just want to get as close as I can before they do surgery. I think it will be easier for them, the recovery will be easier on me, and I will be under 200lbs for the first since.... I was probably a teenager?! 

My biggest issues on this journey will be self accountability, portion sizes (I really need to invest in some smaller dinner plates), and exercise. I have days when I hurt so bad I can barely move (today being one of them after walking 1 mile yesterday and 1 mile the day before). I really need to start a food journal as well. That will be difficult for me. The whole accountability thing. I think I am more scared of losing the journal and having someone find it and going through it and saying "JESUS THAT CHICK EATS A LOT", even if I don't eat a lot that day. I also have a problem eating breakfast most days. Unless it comes from McDonald's or the local bagel shop. I need a lot of sleep and by the time I do finally get up, I either end up making a quick smoothie that fills me up right away but doesn't keep me full the way I need it to, or just stopping on the way to work at either of the above mentioned places.

I guess I should make a list of goals I want to achieve. That way I can refer back to them as I go and see how I am doing. I intend to break them down into manageable pieces instead of just one big huge goal. I find that to be a bit overwhelming and unattainable. So instead of just saying I want to lose 73lbs by January/February. I will say "My goal is to lose 2-4lbs per week" until Jan/Feb. 

My Main Goal List:

1. Lose 73 lbs
2. Eat healthier every day
3. Walk at least 5-6 times a week
4. Start and keep a food journal
5. Make breakfast at home at least 5 days a week

Attainable goals:

1. Aim for 2-3lbs every week, weight loss
2. Make better choices when it comes to food.
    a. Eat at least 4 servings of fruit and veggies every day
    b. Eat protein at every meal
    c. Eat fish at least 3 times per week
    d. Try new, healthy recipes
3. Walk at night after work or at lunch time at work.
    a. Aim for at least 1 mile until I can do more
4. Keep a small pad of paper with me to write down what I eat during the day and transfer it to my journal    at night
5. Find easy to make breakfasts
    a. smoothies - add oatmeal to help fill me up
    b. make hard boiled eggs and keep in the fridge
    c. cereal with soy milk
    d. Healthier quick breads, banana, cranberry etc
    e. Pancakes or waffles cooked ahead, just heat and eat or toast and eat

Today eating has been pretty easy. Cereal with blueberries for breakfast. Lunch was 5 fresh beets, cold. 2 cups homemade mac n cheese with stewed tomatoes. Snack was air-popped popcorn with a slight sprinkling of salt and extra virgin coconut oil, melted and drizzled on top. Dinner will be a small hamburg grilled sans bun or bread, veggies -thinking cucumber and grape tomatoes, and 1 c of the homemade mac n cheese (will be glad when that is gone. Getting tired of it after 2 days).